


Missing (Phan)

by Misha_with_wings



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Banter, Blood and Gore, Broken Bones, Concerned Dan, Crime Scene, Crying, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Eventual Phan, Fluff, Food Fights, Hallucinations, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hidden Feelings, Hospital, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Nightmares, PTSD, Pain, Phan - Freeform, Pining, Police, Recovery, Sad, Stabbing, Torture, Violence, Wounds, cute fluffy ending, death (not main characters), hand holding, kiss, scared, victim phil, worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 04:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13628811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misha_with_wings/pseuds/Misha_with_wings
Summary: "So we have a new update on the serial killer running loose around London-" Dan turns the tv off, he didn't want to hear anymore. He just wanted Phil back home, safe and sound.





	Missing (Phan)

**Author's Note:**

> This gets kind of dark but bare with me, I promised you a happy ending and I'm no liar. 
> 
> warnings:  
> -GRAPHIC VIOLENCE  
> -KIDNAPPING  
> -MURDER (not main characters)

"Dammit Phil-" Dan curses after yet another failed attempt at calling him. He tosses his phone onto the couch before plopping down next to it. 

"I swear I'm going to kill you whenever you come back." Dan sighs.

Phil had left to go to the store for something several hours ago and he hasn't returned yet. Dan was about to flip out because the shop wasn't that far away, on top of that it was now very dark and raining outside. 

He had called Phil about ten times and left him like twenty text messages, he didn't care that he was spamming Phil, he was just freaking out. 

Dan always thought the worst of things and right now all his mind could think of was recent news, there had been six disappearances around their area of London and no one had been found. The first one had disappeared four months ago, the most recent had disappeared two weeks ago. 

Dan took a deep breath, "He's fine." Dan tried to calm his thoughts, "He probably just got caught in the rain so he's waiting somewhere for it to stop. Everything is okay." 

Dan then huffed out a breath before quickly picking up his phone and calling Phil again, "I'm literally going to strangle you if you don't-" then the voicemail track started playing and Dan literally screamed in frustration before throwing his phone. He was one straw away from going crazy at this point. "Philip Michael Lester I will end you if you don't get home right freaking now." Dan types out before sending it to Phil. 

"Please." Dan draws out before groaning and face-planting himself into the sofa cushions. 

He doesn't know when or how, but he had managed to fall asleep in an uncomfortable position on the couch. He quickly jumps up before grabbing his phone, no notifications. He had only been asleep for two hours. 

"You know what?" Dan huffs, "Screw it." Dan phones the police, Phil definitely would've called or texted by now since he's glued to his phone- hell he should've definitely been home by now!

He just couldn't wait any longer, he was worried.

The second he got off the phone with the police he slipped on his shoes, grabbed his jacket and ran outside. The cop he had spoken to had told him to stay put and stay where it was safe but Dan didn't care, Phil was missing and he'd be dammed if he just sat around and did nothing. 

Dan knew the path that Phil normally took so he began the short trek to the store. Once he got there he walked in to talk to the cashier that was working, luckily it was open 24 hours considering it was almost three am. 

"Hey this might sound strange but have you seen him?" Dan asks awkwardly before showing the cashier a picture of Phil. 

"I don't think so, we've been slow all day and I don't remember him coming in." 

"Fuck. Okay thanks." Dan rolls his eyes before leaving quickly, that was a very awkward experience for him. However he couldn't deny the sinking pit in his stomach, Phil never even made it to the store.

His phone began to ring and vibrate in his pocket and hope filled his veins before he saw the unknown number and sighed. 

"Hello?" He answers unenthusiastically. 

"This is Officer Gregory, we spoke on the phone earlier-"

"Yeah- did you find Phil? Is he alright?" Dan asks quickly, his heart was pounding in his chest. 

"Not yet, but we found something that may have belonged to Phil, if you could come help us-"

Dan cuts him off yet again, "Of course, where are you?" 

The officer tells him the street and Dan immediately hangs up and begins running. No matter how badly his legs hurt or how much his lungs burned he kept running until he got there. 

"Are you Dan?" One of the officers greets him at the scene, trying to keep Dan from getting any closer to the alley that was blocked by caution tape. 

"Yeah." Dan mumbles between heavy breaths. 

"Okay, we think we found something that belonged to Phil. If you can confirm that it's his then we're gonna have to talk, but you need to stay calm on me okay?"

Dan gave the officer a weird weary look, "Okay..."

The officer yells for Gregory and a few seconds later another cop emerges from the alleyway wielding a flashlight in one hand and a rectangular like object in the other. 

Wordlessly the officer walks up to Dan before handing him the object, Dan immediately felt the lump in his throat grow and he felt like he could be sick. It was Phil's phone.

"It his?" 

Dan nods slightly, "Yeah..." 

The two officers exchange a look before Gregory speaks up, "Let's go chat." 

Dan wordlessly follows officer Gregory, he felt like his world was slowly crumbling- and he hasn't even gotten the bad news yet. 

Several police officers were walking around and shouting random codes at each other and Dan didn't understand any of it but he didn't care- he just wanted Phil.

"Here, sit." Officer Gregory gestures to the bench and Dan sluggishly sits down, a bad feeling was slowly filling him and making him feel even sicker. 

"What's going on?" Dan asks softly, there was worry in his voice. 

"We think Phil was kidnapped, just like the other six-"

"No- no please don't tell me that-" Dan's breath gets caught in his throat and he almost starts having a coughing fit. 

"I'm sorry, in the alley where we found his phone there are signs of struggle."

"What- what kind of signs?" Dan asks as his heart sinks even further. 

"There's quite a bit of blood, one of our officers already took a vial of it to a lab to have it tested so we can see who it belongs to- along with a few other small things. We found a piece of cloth and we're having it examined to see if maybe there's a hair stuck to it. We're just doing everything we can to get not only Phil back but the other six victims, we want to catch this guy before anyone shows up dead." 

Dan could do nothing but nod, he felt like he was in shock- Phil was gone. 

"Are you gonna be okay?" 

"I-" Dan suddenly chokes on a sob before shaking his head no. The officer puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"We're gonna find Phil." He says, trying to reassure Dan before he gets up to go help the other officers with the crime scene. 

A few hours later Dan was still on the same bench, just now he was curled into himself and staring blankly at the side of one of the police cars. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he was still sniffling. He just couldn't help but think of all the bad things that could be happening, Phil was probably so scared...

"Hey, we're almost done here. Do you want a ride home?" Officer Gregory asks as he walks past Dan. 

Dan does nothing but nod before he forces himself to get off of the bench. He flops into the front seat of the cop car emotionlessly before Gregory closes the door for him. 

Dan stares out the window silently the whole way to the apartment, he only talks to give the officer directions. 

"Will Phil be okay?" Dan asks as he opens the door to get out. 

"We can't be too sure about anything yet but every day we work on this case we get closer to catching the guy."

"But it's been going on for four months... is there hope?" Dan asks. 

"I'd like to think there is." 

Dan drags his feet up to the front door and he unlocks it quickly before walking inside. 

He flops down onto his bed numbly before wrapping himself up in his duvet. He tries to sleep but it was hard to sleep knowing that Phil wasn't in the room next to him. 

.....

Phil could barely see anything in the dimly lit concrete room, his busted glasses laid on the floor in front of him but he felt too weak to reach for them. He was still shaking, probably from a mix of fear and blood loss. 

He rolled onto his back and stared at the cracked ceiling, he gently placed his hand on the deep gash in his side only to wince in pain. It was still trickling blood, luckily it wasn't pouring like it had been before. 

He tried to steady his erratic breathing, having a panic attack would make everything worse. He just needed to calm down and wait for rescue. He knew Dan would've noticed he was gone by now, Dan would definitely have called the cops or something. 

Phil used what strength he had to lift himself up off of the dusty ground. He limped over to the only source of light which was a small basement window, even he was too short to see out of it. He sighed before looking around. The door was solid steel and there was no doubt it was locked. He was stuck, scared, and bleeding. Most of all he just wanted to go home. 

He sunk to the floor before pulling his knees to his chest, wincing in the process- his side was very sore- he buried his face in his arms and cried.

It wasn't until a few hours later that the steel door creaked open, a loud eerie creak of floorboards accompanied the whining of the door hinges. 

Phil pressed himself into the corner as much as he could, his heart started pounding in his chest and his lungs were burning from holding his breath. 

He wished he would've picked up his broken glasses, at least then he'd be able to see something other than a man-shaped blur walking towards him. 

Not a word was spoken from either of them but a small whimper left Phil when a giant machete was pulled out from behind the guys back. 

"You're gonna be a fun one." A deep sadistic chuckle left the man before the knife was pressed to Phil's jaw, he sliced into his skin and Phil whimpered again as tears brimmed his eyes. The pain wasn't that bad compared to his side but he still couldn't take pain very well. 

The machete was being drug down Phil's chest and Phil stayed as still as he possibly could so he wouldn't get cut. 

"Enjoy your few days of freedom, when I come back the real fun begins." 

Phil wanted to scream every cuss word in the book but he stayed silent, he hated when shit like this happened in movies and now it was happening to him in real life.

The guy left and Phil cried harder, he couldn't make himself calm down- he was terrified. His body was shaking roughly as he sobbed, he didn't want to die. Especially not like this. 

.....

Dan sat on the sofa and stared at the wall, the tv was on but he didn't have any interest in it. He fidgeted with Phil's phone, flipping it back and forth in his hands. The notifications for Dan's texts and calls were all still on the lock screen. 

It had been a little over a week, nine days to be exact. Nine days that Phil had been missing. 

Dan felt like he could scream and break something but he just didn't have the energy. He couldn't sleep much anymore, he just laid awake and wondered where Phil was and how he was being treated. 

He just wanted Phil back alive and safe. He couldn't help but think of how scared Phil probably was. 

Dan's attention snapped towards the television when he heard the news broadcaster speaking. 

"Around three pm today two bodies were found dead in the river. Both were identified as victims from the recent kidnappings. Not many details have been released but this is now a code red situation, if anyone has any details about the events or if you spot any suspicious activity, immediately contact the authorities." 

Dan's heart raced in his chest with fear and anxiety. His eyes filled with tears of frustration as he frantically searched for his phone. Seven people had gone missing over the last four months and now two were dead, there was a chance that Phil could be one of them and Dan was proper freaking out.

The second he found his phone he unlocked it with shaky hands, he called the officer that had been giving him frequent information on the case. 

"This is officer-"

"It's Dan, please please tell me that it wasn't Phil... please." Dan pleads, it felt like his whole body was shaking and his lungs were filled with concrete. 

"No it wasn't Phil, I was actually just about to call you."

Dan releases the biggest sigh of relief, but he was still tense and shaky. "Do- do you know anything else?"

"We might have found a trace of DNA on the victims that could lead us to who's doing this."

"How long will it take before you know?" Dan asks, he sounded broken and sad. 

"About two weeks."

"I just want him back." Dan says, his voice cracking slightly as his chest tightens. He was about to start crying again. 

"I know, we're doing everything we can. Hopefully around this time next month everything will be solved and we can get Phil back to you safely." 

"Do you think he's alive?" Dan asks, the question came out so soft and scared sounding that the officer felt bad for him. 

"All we can do is hope."

Dan hung up the phone after muttering a quiet "thanks..." his heart felt heavy and he felt sick. 

Dan hugs a pillow to his chest as a single tear falls from his eye, "Please be okay."

.....

Phil crawled into the corner, his eyes wide and breathing heavy. He was consumed with fear every time he heard footsteps. 

He felt so weak, the evil bastard only fed him once every two days. Well when he wasn't too busy beating his victims. 

The door creaked open and Phil gulped, his throat was dry and scratchy and his whole body ached. He was covered in dried blood, bruises, and open cuts. He hadn't gotten it as bad as the others yet.

"No..." Phil whispers to himself when the guy comes into view. "No no no... please no." He quietly mumbles before burying his face in his arms.

He hears a scoff come from the guy before he's forcefully grabbed and jerked up to his feet. 

Phil shakes with fear and tears slip from his closed eyes, he didn't dare look at the man. 

"Stop being such a wimp." 

He's suddenly thrown to the ground, his head slamming off of the concrete floor, making his head ache even more than it did before. 

Phil opens his eyes only to see a hammer in the guy's right hand. 

The guy smirks before pulling the hammer back and swinging it forward. A silent scream emits from Phil and he jerks away when a hammer is flung towards his head. 

The guy laughs when the hammer hits the wall, making a hole all the way through the weak drywall to the next room. 

"There, now you can watch the show." The guy says creepily before leaving, the door slams behind him. 

Phil then noticed that the hole in the wall showed a person in the next room over, and whoever it was didn't look conscious- or alive for that matter. 

Barely a minute later Phil saw the guy enter the room and casually walk over to the beaten boy on the floor. 

Phil's eyes widened as he watched him swing the hammer and it came smashing down on the boy's chest. 

The boy suddenly screamed out in pain as the hammer was repeatedly smashing into his bones. Phil cringed back every time he heard the painful crunch. 

Laughter filled the room as the psychotic bastard pulled out a machete. 

"No." Phil says in bewilderment, he didn't know exactly what this guy's plans were but he had a good guess. 

The machete was swung towards the boy's throat and Phil jumped backwards, he couldn't watch this anymore. 

With a last brutal scream the boy was dead, but the guy still didn't stop. 

Phil backed himself into the opposite corner as he panicked, his lungs just stopped working and he pulled at his hair as he cried and coughed. 

He could hear the machete connecting with the boy's flesh, slice after slice, and he suddenly felt like he was going to pass out. 

"I'm gonna die..." Phil whispered to himself fearfully, "This is it... I'm gonna die."

Phil rocked back in forth as he hugged his knees to his chest, "I'm never gonna see my family or my friends again... I'm never gonna see Dan again..." He suddenly felt like he was weightless and dizziness took over making him feel nauseous, "I'm gonna die." He mutters one last time, a broken sob leaving him as he passed out, his vision becoming black. 

.....

Three more weeks had passed and Dan literally couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat. All he could do was wait and be sick. He was so consumed by worry that it was affecting his health. 

He just sat, curled up in the corner of the couch, staring at the television. 

"So we have a new update on the serial killer running loose around London-" Dan turns the tv off, he didn't want to hear anymore. He just wanted Phil back home, safe and sound. 

Dan wiped at his dry eyes with his sweater sleeve, he had cried so much that his eyes burned and his head pounded painfully. 

Three more of the victims had been found dead within the past few weeks, that means five were dead. Phil was the seventh to go missing. Four people were still missing, including Phil, but Dan had lost hope. 

The one that was just found dead was the guy who had gone missing after Phil. That means Phil had to be dead since they were being killed in order- at least that's what Dan thought. 

Dan's phone rang and he saw the officers name on the screen. He answered it emotionlessly, he just didn't feel anything anymore, he was just empty. "Yeah?"

"I have good news and bad news-"

"How bad?" Dan asks, cutting him off. 

"Another victim was just found dead."

"Is it-" Dan gets cut off this time. 

"It's not Phil, as far as we know he's still alive." 

"Thank god... what's the good news?" Dan asks, sounding mildly hopeful. Maybe he did have just a tiny shred of hope left. 

"Tests came back, we know who it is, we just have to find where they're hiding."

Just like that, Dan's hope was restored. 

.....

Phil could barely even move anymore, the pain was unbearable and he couldn't do anything but lay on the ground and cry. He almost wished that the man would just kill him already, he couldn't take anymore of this suffering. 

He couldn't see himself but he knew if he could he'd look like hell as a person. His face felt swollen from the punches and his body was beaten, battered, and bruised. 

A loud whimper of pain left his lips when he accidentally rolled over onto his left arm, the man had taken a hammer to him two days ago and Phil knew the bone was at least fractured. His arm had turned black and purple, bruised from right above his elbow to halfway down his forearm. 

Phil almost passed out again, he was so weak that even one little movement could make him fall unconscious. 

He had lost so much blood that there were puddles of it on the floor and it soaked his clothes. He knew the gash on his side was infected since it has gone untreated since he was taken from the alley. 

He was dirty, hungry, dehydrated, sick, and tired- he just wanted to die. He wanted it to all be over. 

The door to his literal hell was opened before the man came into view. 

"Hello Phil." 

Phil wanted to be sick, he couldn't take this anymore. "Just kill me already..."

"Tsk tsk tsk, eager are we? I can't kill you ahead of schedule, especially when you're just so fun. You're my favorite little pet, and I love making you bleed." 

Phil didn't even react, he was used to this guy's insane remarks. "Please... why are you keeping me alive?" Phil asks, his lip wobbled as his eyes welled up with tears again. His chest burned and he was about to have another breakdown. 

"I would have killed you by now but you're stronger than everyone else was. That means I can torture you to my hearts content and I don't have to worry about you dying ahead of schedule." 

"Please." Phil pleads softly.

"I hate beggars." The guy says before approaching Phil with a syringe.

Phil felt the pinch of a needle painfully stabbing into his neck before his eyelids got heavy. 

"Just to make you shut up." Is the last thing Phil hears the guy mumble before he was out. 

.....

"We found him." 

Dan was filled with joy, it all felt like a dream. A fucked up nightmare with a happy ending dream. 

They got to the house where three people were still being held captive. Dan stayed back until the officers restrained and arrested the murderer. He charged into the house the second it was clear. 

"Phil? Phil?!" Dan raced through the unfamiliar grungy halls until he reached the end, a single door stood in his way. 

He pushed into the room and noticed the curled up form of Phil in the corner. 

"Phil!" Dan stopped in his tracks. Phil didn't even move. 

"Phil?" Dan fell to his knees next to his best friend. 

His heart shattered into a billion pieces when he realized that it was too late. 

"No... Phil don't do this to me..." Dan's vision was already clouded with tears, he choked and coughed as the panic attack hit him full force. 

"Phil!" Dan screams, suddenly everything seemed like it was underwater. 

"Phil! Phi-" 

Dan jumped up in bed, his heart racing and hot tears running down his cheeks. He knew sleeping was a bad idea, yet he still did it. 

Dan wiped at his eyes before climbing out of bed, he glanced at his phone, the screen momentarily blinding him. It was four am. 

Dan was sick of this, every time he slept he always had the same nightmare, Phil was always dead. Maybe that was a sign, maybe Phil was dead. 

"No!" Dan yells between gritted teeth before he forcefully punches the wall. 

He immediately regrets the idea when his wrist is met with a searing pain. 

"Fuck-" Dan retracts his arm to his chest, at least the pain was distracting him. 

He shook his wrist as if that would make the pain go away, luckily it doesn't feel broken, it just hurts like a bitch. But he wasn't going to whine about it, he had bigger problems at the moment. 

.....

By the time two months had passed since Phil disappeared, Dan was completely and utterly done. He had given up on life and everything to do with it, he just felt like he didn't have a reason anymore. 

"Hello." Dan answers his phone blankly, his throat burning from being so dry. 

"Dan?"

"Yeah." 

"We found him." Officer Gregory speaks into the phone. 

Dan goes rigid, this was just like his dream started. 

"Are you sure?" Dan asks softly.

"We're getting ready to head out, you can come along but you have to stay in the car until it's clear." 

"Okay- just- do you think Phil is alive?" Dan asks, he just needed a bit of reassurance. 

"I'm not sure but I have hope and so do the rest of us."

Dan hangs up the phone a minute later, "Hope doesn't exist, not anymore." He says to himself as he pulls his shoes and jacket on. He races out the front door.

Soon he was in a speeding line of cop cars with two ambulances following behind.

His heart was beating so fast that he felt like he was going to spontaneously combust. 

His mind just kept thinking Phil. Phil Phil Phil. He didn't want to admit that he had hope, because every time he did it was always brutally shot down by another bad event. He just had to wait a little bit longer then he could either celebrate or completely break down for the last time in his life, because god knows if Phil was dead Dan would not be mentally stable.

The drive went by in a flash of panic and adrenaline. Dan just wanted to run into that house and beat the asshole to a pulp, he decided against it since he would probably lose that battle. He just wanted Phil back. 

"Stay here, wait for me to signal you." Gregory says before getting out of the car, the bulletproof vest he was cased in made Dan gulp. This was a very serious situation. 

Officer Gregory took his place by the door while several other cops rushed into the house after smoothly breaking in through the door. 

Dan wanted to jump out of the car and run in but he planted himself firmly to the seat. He had to wait. 

Everything happened quicker than Dan imagined, within minutes they had the guy cuffed and thrown into the back of a secure vehicle. 

Dan took deep breathes as he awaited his signal, but his signal never came. Gregory chatted with another officer before walking back to the cop car, a sad expression on his face. 

He motioned for Dan to step out and Dan took a few steps toward him with shaky legs. His heart had sunk to the pit of his stomach. 

"W-what is it?" Dan asks, he was terrified. 

"Two of the three remaining victims were just pronounced dead." Gregory sighs, watching as the color drains from Dan's face and he looks so sick he might pass out. "But neither are Phil."

"Then- then where is he?" Dan asks brokenly. 

"We don't know, he's just not in there."

"No..."

"I'm sorry, we can continue to search for him but-"

"Can I go look, please... I won't touch anything unless I'm sure it will lead me to Phil." Dan pleads, "Please... I need to do something. I can't just not look for him. I've waited for so long- I miss him and I need him- just please!" 

The officer sighs, "Not a single victim is alive, Phil is the only one we haven't found. The odds don't look like they're in your favor so I'm just going to tell you this, don't be surprised if you find him and he's not alive. He's been missing for so long it's unlikely that he's still-"

"I know okay- I know." Dan's voice cracks as he wipes tears off of his cheeks. "Just- please let me look. I need to, just- at least for closure." 

Dan wants to scream when he's met with a look of pure pity, "Go ahead if that's what you need."

Dan walks into the house and it's all he can do to keep himself together. 

There's blood and weapons everywhere, Dan feels sick. 

His mind feels woozy and he could barely walk straight, the lack of sleep and the situation combined just made him feel dead inside. 

He tripped over his own feet and hit the ground hard, he didn't even say ow because he couldn't feel anything, he was numb. 

"What the-" Dan noticed a gap between the floor and the wall. 

He tilts his head in confusion before investigating the wall further. He sees the very faint, easily missable outline of a door blending in with the wall. 

"It's a door." Dan says to himself before jumping back up to his feet. This was it- he knew it. He could feel it. He pushed and pulled on the door but it wouldn't budge. It felt heavy, like the other side was made out of steel or something. 

"Bingo." Dan mumbles when he notices a small handle looking thing at the very top of the door, it was almost out of his reach but he got it before pulling the latch and dragging the door open. 

The room was dark except for the dim light that flowed in behind Dan. Dan felt kind of scared, this room seemed like a steel and concrete prison. 

"Phil?" Dan whispers hopefully into the darkness. There was no response. "Phil!" Dan speaks louder. 

He hears a small whimper come from the darkest corner of the room. He cautiously approaches only to have his heart jump into his throat when he hears a voice. 

"No- I-I'm gonna die- I'm gonna-" 

"Phil!" Dan dives forward into the darkness before reaching the man laying on the floor, he looked dead- but Dan knew differently. 

"Phil- Phil it's me." Dan says before gently placing his hand on Phil's shoulder. A pained whimper leaves Phil the second Dan makes contact. 

"Get out of my head." Phil had been hallucinating and hearing things ever since the guy drugged him, he just thought this was more of that. 

"No, Phil, it's actually me. It's Dan, I found you." 

Dan moves so he was sitting in front of Phil. "See." 

"No-"

"Phil look at me, look. I'm here, I promise. Just look at me!" Dan raises his voice making Phil wince. 

"Please... I'm not gonna let you die, just look at me. That's all I'm asking..." Dan pleads, he couldn't help but cry and he didn't care. He didn't care about anything but Phil right now. 

Phil's eyes open just a tiny bit before landing on Dan, Phil physically couldn't react to seeing Dan since he was too weak to move. 

"Dan?"

"I told you it's me." Dan says softly. 

"Dan." Phil's lips quirk into a small smile. 

"Let's get you out of here." Dan says before sliding his arms under Phil to pick him up. 

Phil whimpers painfully.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to be gentle. I know it hurts." Dan lifts Phil with ease, he was pretty much skin and bones. 

Phil's body goes limp in his arms and Dan struggles to maneuver his way out since Phil was so tall. He didn't want to hurt him any worse, it was bad enough. 

When Dan gets in the light he sees the extent of Phil's injuries, Dan's heart breaks all over again. Phil was barely recognizable and it was obvious he had been brutally tortured for two months. 

Paramedics rushed to get Phil in the ambulance and he was immediately hooked to an IV. Dan sat in the corner watching as they tried to improve Phil's condition. Dan just hoped and hoped that he'd end up okay again. 

.....

It wasn't until quite a few hours later that Phil was stable and sleeping soundly in a hospital room, they had to sedate him so they could stitch up his wounds and cast his arm, he was still unconscious. 

Dan just sat next to the bed and waited for Phil to wake up. He wanted to hug the life out of him- not literally- but he wouldn't anyway because that would just hurt him and Phil didn't need more pain. 

Phil's eyes flickered open not long later before locking on Dan. 

"Hello sunshine." Dan says along with a breathy laugh. 

Phil's eyes then glance around the room before a shaky breath falls from between his parted lips. "I'm safe?" 

"Yep, looks like you're gonna be fine buddy." Dan says, he couldn't get the smile off of his face even if he tried. 

"I- I..." Phil looks down at himself then looks back at Dan, "Dan!"

"Hi Phil." Dan says fondly. 

"I missed you." Phil mutters softly as his eyelids droop and he almost falls back asleep, the drugs that the nurse had given him were supposed to make him loopy and tired. The bags under his eyes show that he didn't get much sleep over the past few months, now that's something Dan could relate with.

"I missed you too." Dan replies, sighing as Phil falls back asleep. At least Phil was safe now, and Dan couldn't be more thankful.

.....

Dan sits and waits, his heart would jump with excitement every time Phil moved or made any noise. Sadly he was still asleep, but Dan couldn't be that upset- the guy deserved some rest.

"Phil?" Dan asks quietly when he stirs in his sleep, a frown etched onto his bruised face. 

"Phil... hey-" Dan moves closer to Phil when he mumbles a soft "No." in his sleep, he sounded scared and broken- it made Dan's heart ache, he couldn't even begin to imagine everything Phil went through. 

"Okay you're waking up." Dan says when a tear slides down Phil's cheek, Dan wasn't about to sit here and watch Phil cry in his sleep.

"Phil?" Dan asks in a soft tone of voice as he gently places his hand on Phil's shoulder. 

Phil jumps awake the second contact is made. 

"Hey hey, calm down it's okay. It's just me." Dan reassures the startled Phil. 

"Oh." Phil huffs out a sigh of relief, "I'm sorry." He adds as he relaxes back into the pillows. 

"You don't have to apologize, I know that this must have been scary for you-"

"Please stop." Phil cuts Dan off abruptly, when Dan opens his mouth to apologize Phil speaks again, "I just- I don't wanna talk about it."

"That's okay." Dan gives him a reassuring smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like a person again and not a human cutting board so I mean that's significantly better." Phil replies with a sigh. 

"I'm sorry Phil." Dan says, looking at him sadly. 

"For what?" Phil asks, Dan almost scoffed, almost. 

"I should've done more to find you. I'm sorry it took two months- I-"

"Dan you did all you could do, I'm alive because you found me. Im thankful, I'm not mad or disappointed in you at all." Phil says and all of the doubt and sadness instantly left Dan's eyes. 

Dan sighs before changing the subject, "The apartment is way too quiet and scary without you there." 

"I can't wait to go home." Phil sighs. 

"You'll probably be here for another week or so, you need to heal and get better." Dan says, "but in all honesty, joking aside, how do you feel?"

"Honestly, I feel pretty freaking crap." Phil sighs heavily, "I feel weak like I can't move and everything hurts and feels heavy- and my head is throbbing, also my arm feels like it's going to literally fall off." 

"Well it's fractured pretty badly- well that's what they told me. You have to keep the cast on for six weeks." Dan says making Phil groan. 

"I feel like Frankenstein with all of these stitches..." 

Dan emits a breathy laugh, "You seem normal at least."

Phil looks at him confusedly, "What do you mean 'normal'? I find that word insulting."

"I definitely didn't mean normal like that. I mean you're acting like Phil."

"I am Phil dummy." Phil laughs. 

"No like you don't seem all sad and terrified like most people in this situation would, you're acting like nothing bad ever happened..." Dan says, trying to tread lightly around the subject as to not trigger Phil or anything. 

"Well this is the way I see it. I'm out, I'm free and safe. I'm not stuck there anymore and if I'm okay now then why would I dwell on the bad?" Phil shrugs before giving Dan a small smile. 

"That just must've been traumatizing- but I wish everyone had your positive attitude." 

"There's nothing I can do about what happened, but now it's over. I'm safe, and now that I'm away from that hell- dare I say it- I'm happy. Sure I'm a little banged up and I'm in terrible pain but it's over, all I can think is it's over, it's over. It's over." Phil sighs and visibly relaxes, "And also you're here, and you always make me happy Dan!" Phil gives him a genuine smile. 

Dan hides the blush that rises to his cheeks, "I'm not leaving either."

"This just got cheesy." Phil laughs. 

"Oh deal with it Philly. I'm glad you're back and I'm glad that you're gonna be alright. And I'm very glad that you're happy, I don't think my heart could take a sad Phil." 

"Now I'm just bored. I don't wanna lay here." Phil complains. 

"You can't walk by yourself yet, you're still pretty weak and you're labeled as a fall risk. At least you aren't as dehydrated anymore and you actually have some color back in your skin, your skin was almost a light shade of grey. Maybe once you get some food in you you'll feel better and I can help you walk around." 

"Food." Phil perks up at the mention of food, "I'm starving." 

"I can go get you something, what do you want? There's a few places across the street I can run over and get you something so you don't have to eat hospital food."

"Run?" Phil looks at Dan with a disbelieving smirky expression. 

"Oh shut up you know what I mean." Dan laughs and gently shoves Phil. 

"Ow!" 

"Oh shit- I'm sorry! Habit!" Dan panics, he didn't want to make Phil mad. 

"It's okay... I just feel a little less numb and a lot more pain at the moment..." Phil winces. 

"Your medicine is probably starting to wear off-" Dan looks at the clock, "Yeah you're about due for it." 

"Can you get me Chinese?" Phil asks, back on the topic of food. 

"I think there's a Panda Express across the street so sure."

"Well get to running then Danny." Phil jokes. 

"Oh fuck off." Dan laughs and rolls his eyes as he stands up and slips on his jacket. He pushes his hands into his pockets before remembering, "Oh, and here's this." Dan pulls out Phil's phone before handing it to him, "I charged it earlier while you were asleep so you'd have it."

"I almost forgot phones existed." Phil jokes, "but thanks Dan." 

"I'll be back." Dan says as he walks towards the door.

"Hurry up before I starve." 

Dan just laughs and shakes his head fondly in disbelief, Phil was just so hilariously perfect. 

No more than an hour later Phil was once again asleep and Dan was bored out of his mind. Phil had just dozed off mid-conversation but Dan wasn't going to wake him up, he needed sleep. 

He perked up considerably after he had gotten some food in his system and he almost seemed completely back to normal other than the bruises and cuts covering his body, along with the neon blue cast on his arm. 

Dan glanced over at Phil before exhaling a sigh, he was tired himself. He leaned back in the chair and tried to get as comfortable as possible before deciding to take a nap. 

Phil woke up about a half an hour later, he could feel that the medicine had completely worn off and he hurt quite a lot. He went to tell Dan but decided against it when he noticed him asleep in the chair next to him. He didn't look comfortable at all and Phil felt bad about it. 

He could stand being in pain for a little while, at least until Dan woke up or until a nurse walked in. 

He decided to check his phone, which he hadn't done yet. He turned it on and unlocked it only to see the mass amounts of missed calls and texts he had- a good 99% of which were from Dan- and his heart sunk. 

He read every message and he could almost imagine Dan pacing around and panicking as he spammed him with text messages. 

He couldn't even bring himself to listen to the voicemails, just imagining Dan's panicked, shaky voice made him want to cry. 

He sighed heavily and winced when pain seemed to shock through his lungs. "Ow."

He carefully turns to look at Dan, "Dan." Dan doesn't even stir, "Hey!" Still nothing, "Dan please wake up..."

Dan groans before turning over in the chair so his back was facing Phil.

"Okay stubborn- Dan!" Phil yells louder making Dan jump up. 

"What- what's wrong?" Dan blinks at him sleepily. 

"I'm sorry- just-" Phil sighs and averts his gaze. 

"No no, it's okay. What's wrong?" Dan asks after he yawns. 

"It hurts." Phil says, finally giving in and letting his pain show. He was trying to hide it but he just couldn't, he felt terrible. 

Dan instantly looks concerned and mildly panicky, "Okay, I'll go get your nurse."

"Thank you, sorry."

"I told you to stop apologizing, you can't help it Phil." Dan says, he felt bad when he saw Phil grimace in pain and he just barely moved over an inch. 

"I feel like I'm bugging you and being annoying. I'm not trying to be a problem-"

"Stop." Dan says, "I'm gonna go get the nurse so you can get more meds then I'm gonna properly reply to that when you aren't in pain." 

"That sounds so bad-" Phil almost laughed.

Dan cringes at himself when he thinks back on what he said, "I didn't mean it like that- nothing sexual I promise." 

"You're just making it worse and it hurts when I laugh so please stop talking." Phil tries his hardest to contain his laughter. 

"I'm gonna bash my head against a wall." Dan mumbles as he walks out of the room. 

Several minutes later Phil was slowly being pumped full of medicine and the pain was slowly subsiding.

"Feel any better?" Dan asks. 

"A little, it's working that's for sure. I feel a bit woozy." Phil says and blinks as if that would stop the room from spinning. 

"Yeah the nurse said it might make you a bit loopy, but it shouldn't be too bad." 

"Oh great. So pretty much I'm gonna end up saying something stupid then you're gonna laugh at me." Phil rolls his eyes. 

"You already say plenty of stupid things Phil it can't get that much worse." Dan teases making Phil reach over and smack him. "Hey! That's not fair I can't hit you back!"

"Well technically you can but if you did it would make you a terrible person." 

"I really hope you say something stupid so I can laugh at you out of spite." Dan playfully glares. 

"Rude." Phil mutters. 

"Don't worry Phil I laugh at you out of love and complete admiration." Dan says with a hint of sarcasm making Phil glare at him. 

"You're actually an asshole." Phil shakes his head and laughs fondly. 

"Oh you love it, if I didn't say things like that then I wouldn't be Dan then would I?" 

"You say that like it would be a bad thing." Phil sasses and he hears Dan scoff. 

"And you say I'm the asshole."

"Come here." Phil says suddenly. 

"What why?" Dan asks. 

"Come on just come closer." 

"I don't trust you." Dan says as he moves closer anyway. 

The second he is within arms reach Phil slaps him. 

"You complete utter swear word-" Dan gripes as Phil laughs. 

"You should've seen it coming." Phil says, he was happy that the medicine had properly kicked in so he could laugh without crying in pain at the same time. 

"Surprisingly that didn't stop me." Dan sighs and laughs under his breath, "I was like he's either gonna hit me or kiss me and I know it isn't the second one."

"Why the hell would I kiss you?" Phil asks, making Dan look offended, "I have standards and they aren't that low." 

Dan draws in a sharp gasp, "Why are you attacking me- it's causing me pain." 

"C'mon I haven't seen you for two months that means there's two months of banter and insults that we need to make up for." Phil says, he was still laughing to himself and Dan still looked offended. 

"You're just suddenly pure savage." 

"Savage is my middle name Danny boy." Phil says making Dan roll his eyes. 

"Phil Savage Lester... yeah sure ya dork." 

"It sounds good, it has a nice ring to it!" 

"You wish, you're middle name should just be rat." Dan huffs. 

"I hate you." Phil mutters softly, but it was filled with fondness. 

"And I hate you more." Dan replies just as fondly. 

"Aww how sweet of you I'm getting cavities." 

.....

"Phil are you okay?" Dan asks after about twenty minutes had passed, Phil was just holding his unhurt hand in front of his face and staring at it. 

"Hands are so weird and fingers are like giant non-sharp claws." 

"I think that medicine is making you loopier than the nurse led on..." Dan laughs softly. 

Phil growls before pretending to scratch at Dan, "Claws biotch." 

"Phil stop- please." Dan laughs and facepalms at the same time. 

"Bring out your claws Dan, embrace it. It's okay to be weird." Phil says like it's an inspirational speech, he looked dazed and his pupils were dilated. 

Yep, Dan decided, Phil was properly high. 

"Phil I don't have claws." Dan couldn't erase the smile from his face, loopy Phil was adorably hilarious. 

"Yes you do!" Phil exclaims, "Let me see- I'll prove it!"

Dan sighs and rolls his eyes but his fond expression wouldn't go away, he holds up his hand to humor Phil. 

"See look, I have claws and you have claws." Phil puts his hand up to Dan's, "See! I told you! You must have faith in me Daniel."

Dan just couldn't stop laughing at Phil, the last two months had been the worst time of his life now it was like his happiness was restored. 

"I'm sorry I doubted you." Dan plays along with Phil's high antics. 

"It's okay, look-" Phil slots his fingers between Dan's and holds his hand, his eyes widen comically as he whispers, "Claw-ception." 

Dan facepalms, "Why are you like this." He mutters quietly and laughs. 

"It's like magic." 

Dan snorted before laughing harder, "We're literally just holding hands Phil." 

"No!" Phil glares at Dan angrily, "It's the claws!"

"That's amazing, Phil." Dan says sarcastically, "Can I have my hand back now?"

Phil just held on tighter, and of course at that moment the nurse decided to walk in. She looked confusedly at their entwined hands. 

Phil looks at her with a blank expression before saying, "Tell Dan he has claws." 

Dan then loses it and can't contain his blush or his laughter. 

The nurse glances at the machines attached to Phil before turning back to the boys that were holding hands. 

"You guys are too cute." 

Dan then tenses up and his throat goes dry and his words come out in a stuttered mess as his face burned hotly with a deep blush. "Oh uh- I- we... we aren't- uh-"

She gives him a disbelieving look, "Well you should be." 

"W-what?" Dan's voice was high pitched and he sounded small. 

Phil was just busy staring at the 'claws', completely oblivious to the ongoing conversation between Dan and the nurse. 

"I just mean that-" She sighs, "I'm good at reading people and it's obvious you two have a deep connection." 

"I- I uh-" Dan stammers and luckily Phil was too high to mentally function right now. 

"Maybe you are just friends and that's perfectly fine but it's obvious you care about him a lot, I heard about what you were like on the ambulance ride here and what you did as they were trying to stabilize him."

Dan's eyes flicker to Phil who was now dozing off, but his grip on Dan's hand was still strong. "Uh-huh." Is all Dan can manage in his panicked state. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it thumping. 

"Just come find me if you need anything dear, I'm sorry if I upset you." She looked worried and apologetic. 

"No- no it's fine, I mean you're not wrong..." Dan immediately internally screams at himself, did he really just confirm that all of her words were correct- with Phil right beside him freaking holding his hand?

She gave him a smile before leaving and he took a deep breath to calm down. 

"Did you hear any of that?" Dan gulps. 

"Huh?" Phil attention snaps to Dan instantly when he realizes he was being talked to. 

"Good." Dan sighs, "Go to sleep Phil." Dan says, Phil was obviously tired. 

"Okay." Phil yawns before flopping back against the pillows, "Ouch-"

"Easy there, don't hurt yourself." Dan tells him. 

Phil relaxes and his hand falls onto his chest, taking Dan's with it. Dan sighs and looks at his sleeping friend with a fond smile, he was so happy that Phil was back. If only he could get up the courage to admit his darkest and longest kept secret to him, but if this situation didn't open his eyes to the fact that he wouldn't have forever to tell him then what would?

Dan scooted the chair closer to Phil's bed before relaxing back into it, a nap wouldn't hurt and he didn't have the heart to pull his hand from Phil's- especially when he was pretty much snuggling it.

It was dark the next time Phil woke up and Dan's soft snores filled the room. He yawned and stretched, then he noticed he was holding Dan's hand. 

His brow furrows in confusion before he releases his grip and pushes Dan's arm off of him. He wasn't mad, his hand was just all sweaty and gross and he couldn't take much of that feeling. 

"Hey you're awake!" Phil looks up to see the nurse walk into the room. 

"Barely." He replies. 

"I'm just doing my nightly checks before I clock out for the night, how are you feeling?" She asks him as she presses a few buttons on the machine. 

"I feel pretty decent actually, I'm not terrible." Phil answers. 

"That's good, I won't give you the loopy medicine this time then and I'll give you something that's not as strong." She says as she injects something into his IV. 

"He doesn't look comfortable." Phil mutters when he looks over at Dan. 

"How is he- is he okay?" She asks. 

"Dan? Yeah, he's fine as far as I know, why?" Phil asks in reply, he seemed confused. 

"I just think I said some things that upset him earlier."

"Why- what did you say to him?!" Phil slipped into protective mode, he didn't like it when people upset Dan. 

"I just kind of accidentally assumed that you two were together and I said something and he got all panicky and froze up- I'm sorry by the way..."

"Oh." Phil relaxes, "It's fine, people assume that all the time. It doesn't bug us, Dan sometimes gets a bit finicky about it but he doesn't get upset." 

"Okay, well I'm still sorry but I'm glad he's okay and I'm glad you're feeling better." She says and gives him a soft smile, "You've got a good friend there."

Phil glances at Dan, smiling fondly, "I do, don't I?"

"He was so worried about you when you first got here it was crazy, he even got a bit angry and shoved one of the male nurses at one point." 

"He what-?" Phil's attention snapped to her instantly, his mind filling with questions. 

"They had to sedate you- as you know- for the stitches and casting of your arm and Dan was aloud back, mostly because he was adamant and refused to go to the waiting area, but the male nurse that happened to be handling you at the time moved you a little too roughly and Dan yelled at him and shoved him away from you." 

"Oh." Phil couldn't think of any words to reply to that. 

"He was a mess, he was terrified that you were going to die and he couldn't stop saying that he can't live without you. My heart ached for him, poor thing."

"Did- did he do anything else?" Phil was now interested. 

"He was very protective of you, nobody could touch you or he'd completely flip out. You probably don't remember much about earlier but he kept softly talking to you to keep you calm and it was cute- that's kind of why I just assumed that... well you know." 

"It's fine. It honestly doesn't bug me." Phil says reassuringly. 

"Okay, well do you need anything before I leave for the night?" She asks. 

"No, I'm good thank you." He smiles kindly at her. She goes to turn away but he quickly speaks up, "Actually-"

She looks at him expectantly, "Yes?"

Phil glances over at Dan who was still very much asleep, "Can I get a blanket?"

She glances at Dan who also had Phil's eyes on him before smiling softly, "Of course dear, I'll be right back." 

It was pretty cold in the hospital room and if Phil looked close enough he could see Dan shiver every once in a while. 

"Here you go." The nurse enters the room a few moments later with one of the hospitals heated blankets. "Do you want it or-"

"Yeah I'll take it, thank you." Phil takes the blanket from her, "Have a nice night."

"You too." She replies before leaving and closing the door behind her. 

Phil unfolded the blanket before looking at Dan again, this was gonna be a challenge especially with one broken arm. 

He somehow manages to successfully get the blanket on Dan without hitting him in the face or falling out of bed, he considers that a one up against his clumsiness. Plus Dan was practically leaning on his bed instead of the chair at this point so he was close enough that it wasn't an issue. 

Phil noticed that Dan was leaning on the metal rail along the side of his bed and it didn't look comfortable, so he had the bright idea to push it down. 

Phil pushes in the latch and presses the rail down and Dan immediately falls forward onto him. 

"Ow- holy fu-" Phil cuts himself off before he drops the f-bomb, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. 

"Ugh." Dan groans groggily. 

"I'm sorry I was just trying to make you more comfortable." Phil says as Dan sits up and yawns. 

"I'm fine, are you okay?" Dan asks, his voice laced with sleep. Phil looked mildly pained. 

"You elbowed me in the sore side when you fell but that was my own fault. I'm okay." Phil replies. 

"I'm sorry." Dan says as he blinks at Phil sleepily. 

"It's fine. Like I said, I'm okay." Phil gives him a reassuring smile. 

"I'm so tired." Dan groans in complaint. 

"You can go home if you want to I'll be-"

"No." Dan cuts him off, "I'm not leaving until you can leave with me." He shoots that idea down immediately. 

"Dan-" Phil sighs. 

"No Phil." Dan says, adamant. 

"I'm not gonna go anywhere Dan." 

"Yeah? That's probably what you would've said two months ago too." Dan says in an angry tone.

"I- I'm sorry- I-" Phil doesn't know why he felt a rush of tears pushing at his eyes. His heart felt sad and heavy.

Dan instantly regretted what he said, "No- shit, Phil." Dan sighs, "I'm so sorry... I know you would never have wanted this and I- I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." 

Phil sighs heavily, taking a deep breath to calm down. "You didn't mean it, it's okay."

"I just don't wanna lose you. I was terrified that you were dead and I couldn't sleep or eat- I just wanted you back home. I missed having you in the room next to me and it was so painfully quiet and I just missed joking around and playing video games with you- fuck, Phil I missed you so much." Dan's mouth moves faster than his brain and his words come out rushed and he felt like he was going to have another breakdown. 

"I thought I was never gonna see you again, I'd rather not talk about what happened to me but I will tell you that I missed you too- so much." Phil replies before reaching out and putting his hand on Dan's shoulder to comfort him. 

"I-" Dan's voice cracks and his eyes fill with tears, "I'm just so glad you're okay-" He tries fighting the urge to cry as hard as he can. 

"Hey... c'mere." Phil requests softly and holds his arms out. 

"I don't want to hurt you." Dan sniffles and wipes at his eyes.

"Come here." Phil demands.

Dan sighs before leaning over onto the bed and draping his arm over Phil in a gentle hug-like action. 

Phil wraps his good arm around Dan and rubs his back gently. "You okay?" He asks softly. 

"Yeah." Dan sighs with content into Phil's shoulder. He was being as gentle as he possibly could. 

"Good, now get some sleep. You need it." 

Dan hugs Phil for a bit longer before pulling away and leaning against the side of his hospital bed. He pulls the blanket around himself tighter. 

Phil stays awake for a bit longer, just staring at the ceiling. He couldn't move his arm or he'd elbow Dan in the neck but Dan was getting some much needed rest so Phil didn't want to move him. 

Dan's head was pretty much resting on Phil's shoulder and Phil couldn't help but give him a fond glance, he was adorable.

Phil sighs before closing his eyes to sleep, just when he was about to doze off he felt a hand grab his own. He smiled to himself and entwined his fingers with Dan's before falling completely asleep. 

.....

The next morning Phil woke up feeling kind of crappy but he wasn't going to make a big deal of it. 

"Morning Phil." Dan gives Phil the most adorable smile once he realizes the older was awake. 

"Mornin-" Phil sees their still entwined hands. 

"Oh..." Dan looks at their hands then back up at Phil in realization, "I'm sorry I just- I- I was upset last night and I needed comfort and holding your hand was comforting and I just never let go and-"

"It's okay Dan, calm down. It's not a big deal." Phil reassures him with a soft smile, he doesn't even pull his hand out of Dan's. 

"Okay." Dan sighs in relief, he was surprised when Phil didn't rip his hand away. 

"I want out of this bed." Phil groans before giving Dan a pouty expression. 

"Maybe I can talk the nurse into letting me walk you down the hall today. If you feel well enough that is." Dan replies.

"I feel okay, not amazing- but I feel good enough to walk." 

"She should be in here to check on you soon." Dan sighs. 

Around ten minutes later the nurse comes in, just a little behind schedule. 

"Hello how are you two today?" She asks cheerfully. 

"Hello! I'm sick of laying here." Phil pouts. 

"I'm sorry hon." She frowns momentarily before checking the IV bag. "You aren't dehydrated anymore so I could take you off of the IV, you'll have a bit more freedom then." 

"Can I get up?" Phil asks. 

"Well I can't hold you down and tell you no, but it's up to you. You are a fall risk so you can't go anywhere by yourself." She says as she grabs a pack of cotton gauze and some tape from a cabinet in the room. 

"Dan can go with me!" Phil says excitedly. "I just want to walk around a little, I hate just laying here." 

The nurse gently pulls the IV needle out of Phil's arm before putting the gauze over his skin to stop the bleeding. "Well you aren't hooked to wires anymore so you can walk. Just pace yourself, you're still pretty busted up and you don't want to make it worse." 

"I'm sure I'll be okay." Phil says. 

"Well here's your pain meds, we've switched you over to pills now since you no longer need the IV." 

Phil takes the plastic cup that held two small pills in it, "Thanks." The nurse nods in return before leaving. 

Dan hands Phil his bottle of water without being asked, mostly because it made him cringe when people took pills dry. "So do you want to try and walk, I'm just scared you'll hurt yourself..."

"I'll be fine, on the other hand if I stay in this bed I might just die-" Phil shuts up the second Dan flinches at that word, "...I'm sorry."

"It's okay I just don't really like to hear you talk about dying. Especially not now- joking or not I just-"

"Yeah I understand." Phil sighs. "Anyway help me I want to get out of this bed."

Dan rolls his eyes fondly at Phil who was way too eager to get up. 

"Do you need me to-"

"No." Phil cuts Dan off. 

Dan watches Phil worriedly, "Let me just-"

"No!" Phil snaps, "Let me try dammit, you're just there to catch me if I fall. I'm not falling yet." 

Phil eventually makes it to his feet, he hurt a lot more than he lead on. 

"You good?" Dan asks. 

"I think so?" Phil says, unsure. He felt shaky and weak. 

"Easy-" Dan warns when Phil steps forward.

"Unhand me! I'm fine!" Phil says stubbornly and smacks Dan's hand away when he reaches for him. 

Dan huffs, "I don't want you to fall, you're already clumsy as it is now you're hurt too."

"I'm okay Dan chill out." Phil winces in pain when he takes another step forward. He hasn't been able to properly walk since the first time the guy beat the hell out of him. 

"You obviously hurt... why don't you just stop being stubborn and let me help you?" Dan asks, he was just scared that Phil was gonna hurt himself. 

"How are you gonna help me anyway? Just let me do it."

"You can lean on me and I can hold some of your weight so you're not putting as much pressure on yourself, I can tell it hurts." Dan says. 

"I'm okay. If I need help I'll tell you." Phil says before taking another easy step forward. 

Phil's knee gave out the second he shifted all of his weight to it and luckily Dan had fast reflexes or else he would have hit the floor. 

"Are you okay?" Dan asks frantically, he refused to let Phil go now.

Phil looks up at Dan before trying to shove him off, "I'm fine... I'm just clumsy."

"That wasn't clumsy that was-"

"Shut up." 

Dan suddenly froze up and his throat felt dry. Phil's face was so close to his, he could almost just lean in and kiss him. 

"Dan?" Phil asks in a confused concern when Dan's arm tightens around him. 

Dan's eyes flicker from Phil's eyes to his lips.

Phil seemed to notice and he stopped struggling. 

Their eyes met again and then Dan seemed to snap out of it. 

"Oh uh- d-didn't you wanna walk out in the hallway?" Dan let Phil go and took a step away from him. 

"Um yeah." Phil looked at Dan weirdly. Did he really just try to do what Phil thinks he did?

"Maybe you should let me help you this time." Dan says, shaking off the awkward feeling as much as he could. 

"No, I got it." Phil replies. 

"Phil." 

"Fine." Phil rolls his eyes but he appreciated the help anyway. 

For the most part he could carry himself and walk fine, he would just stumble every once in a while. Luckily he didn't fall at all since he was leaning on Dan. 

"You okay?" Dan asks once they reach the end of the hallway. 

"Yeah I-I just-" Phil winced when he moved. 

"I think you moved a little too much." Dan says, he was concerned. He shouldn't have let Phil walk this far down the hall. 

"I-I'm okay- I just-" Phil almost falls.

"Woah- okay buddy you're gonna sit right here for a minute." Dan holds Phil up and guides him over to a chair, he gently eases him down into it. 

"I feel dizzy." Phil admits. 

"Do you hurt?" Dan asks. 

Phil shrugs. 

"Phil, do you hurt?" Dan asks again, a little more strict sounding. 

"Yeah..." Phil mumbles the response. 

"Why didn't you tell me? We didn't have to walk that far." Dan kneels down in front of Phil so he wasn't towering over him in the chair. 

"I didn't want to say anything." 

"Why not? Phil if you hurt then tell me, you went through a lot. Don't hide it, it's not going to help you get better." Dan says making Phil sigh, Phil had tears welling up in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry- I just don't want to seem weak." Phil admits. 

Dan's face falls into a worried expression, "Phil... you aren't weak. You're alive, just that fact alone proves how strong you are."

Phil just shrugs, he looked so sad. 

Dan starts to think that maybe Phil isn't as okay as he seems, both physically and mentally. He did go through a lot. 

"Do you want to go back?" Dan asks, referring to his hospital room. 

Phil nods, "Yeah I think I can make it, just help me." 

"Of course I'll help, that's why I'm here." Dan gives him a soft smile before helping him up and wrapping an arm around his back so he wouldn't fall. 

They make it back to the room and Dan helps Phil get back in bed. 

"Are you alright Phil?" Dan asks once he takes his seat back. 

Phil just shrugs.

"Hey, if you need to talk I'll listen." Dan says.

Phil still doesn't look at him, "I just wanna go home." 

"You aren't well enough to go home yet Phil, I'm sorry." 

Phil doesn't even respond before relaxing back into the pillows and closing his eyes. 

.....

The next day Phil didn't talk at all, he refused to speak. All he did was shrug, sigh, and occasionally nod. 

Dan let it go, maybe Phil just wanted quiet. 

.....

The following day went the same way, this time Dan didn't let it happen. 

"Phil something is wrong and I need to know what it is." Dan says, Phil doesn't say anything. "Please Phil, I'm worried about you. I just want you to be happy and well- please let me help you."

Upon hearing Dan's sad voice Phil sighed. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Why are you being quiet?" Dan asks. 

"Why am I alive?" Phil asks and Dan is taken aback. 

"Phil-" Dan doesn't even know what to say, "You deserve to be alive." 

"So did the other victims. Why am I the only one that's aloud to live?" Phil asks. 

"How did you know you were the only one-"

"I heard someone talking about it when we were walking the other day." Phil huffs. "I shouldn't be alive."

"But you are..." Dan replies, "and I'm so so grateful. I don't wanna live without you. Sure it is tragic and terrible that everyone else was killed but you're alive, be happy. You're still here... with me." 

Phil sighs and nods. 

"Will you be okay?" Dan asks. 

"Maybe." Phil sighs before reaching for Dan's hand. 

They held hands a lot now. They didn't even think about it, they just did it. 

.....

"You any better?" Dan asks. 

It had been six long days that they had spent in the hospital. Well Dan didn't have to stay but he didn't want to leave Phil. He only went home a few times and even then he'd be back at the hospital an hour later. 

"Yeah." Phil replies. "Do you think I could go home today?" 

"They were talking about maybe discharging you today." Dan says. 

"I want to go home, I feel better." Phil says, most of the bruising was gone. All of the wounds were scabbed over or half-healed, except for the gashes. The main pain in the ass was his broken arm. 

"I mean you seem to be doing better, and you can walk now." 

"I just want my bed." Phil groans before looking over at Dan. 

Dan gulps and avoids eye contact, he felt awkward any time he met Phil's eyes. He had thought about kissing him several times over the past few days and he hoped that Phil didn't notice. 

"Dan? You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah..." 

.....

Dan had left the room for maybe fifteen minutes and he came back to a half-naked Phil. Which he definitely wasn't complaining about. 

Phil was shirtless and in the midst of buttoning his jeans, the grey sweatpants and white hospital t-shirt he had been wearing were discarded on the floor messily. 

"Jesus Christ Phil I leave for a few minutes and you're already stripping." Dan jokes making Phil laugh and roll his eyes. 

"I just signed off on the discharge papers so I can leave!" Phil says and does a little jump of excitement. He almost falls on his face from slipping in his socks on the slick tile floor. 

"Careful, if you break something else we'll have to stay longer."

"Oh shut up." Phil says before glancing around, "Where's my shirt?" 

I hope you don't find it, Dan thinks. 

"I think I forgot to grab you one... on accident..." Dan admits quietly. 

"You had one job Daniel. I ask you to get me clothes and you fail."

"Oops." Dan shrugs. 

"I can't just walk out there without a shirt on!" Phil gripes. 

Dan rolls his eyes, "Here." He pulls off his hoodie before flinging it at Phil's face. "Now I'm cold." Dan grumps, now he was just in a t-shirt. 

"It's so warm like its fresh from the dryer." 

Dan scoffs, "It's fresh from my body."

"You're just an abnormally warm person." Phil shrugs. 

"In contrast to my heart of solid ice."

"Don't say that!" Phil scolds him. 

"Is there anything else you have to do or can we leave? I've got a car waiting for us outside." Dan changes the subject. 

"Nope I'm free to go, I have to stop and get my medicine though I still don't think I can live without pain killers." 

"Alright lets blow this joint." Dan says and Phil gives him a depreciating sigh. 

.....

"Home sweet home." Dan says with a content sigh as he holds the door open for Phil. 

"It feels so good to be home." Phil sighs heavily, a small smile adorned his lips making Dan stare at him fondly. 

Dan let the door close behind them, "It feels good to have you back."

Dan turned back from the door to face Phil and the second he turned around Phil attacked him with a hug. 

"Thank you." 

Dan tried to hide his blush and smile but he just couldn't, "For what?" He asks as he hugs Phil back. 

"For sticking with me, for not giving up, for dealing with my complaints, for giving me hope- should I continue?" Phil sighs into Dan's shoulder. 

"No no, I got it. You don't have to thank me though, you know I'll always be there for you." 

"I can thank you if I want." Phil says half-joking before pulling back to look Dan in the eyes, he still had his arms wrapped around Dan's waist. "So, shut up and accept my thank you." He laughs. 

Dan's heart flutters upon seeing Phil's adorable smile, he felt like he could melt into a puddle on the floor. "Okay fine then, you're welcome." Dan playfully rolls his eyes. 

"See, was it that hard to take a thank you?" Phil asks and gives him a questioning yet cute look.

"I-" Dan gulps, suddenly feeling nervous. "I guess not." It's just that Phil's lips were right there, so close. They looked warm and inviting and Dan just craved a kiss from him. 

Dan couldn't stop himself before he slowly leaned in but before he could even get close Phil interrupted the silence. 

"I'm hungry-" Phil blurts before prying himself out of Dan's arms and taking a step back. 

Dan swallows thickly, his heart felt achy with rejection. This is probably the fifth time he had truly thought about kissing Phil and every time he did Phil always rejected him or moved away quickly. Dan just needed to take the hint, Phil didn't like him like that. 

"O-oh... alright." Dan snaps himself out of it, "Wanna order pizza?"

"Considering I don't want to go anywhere that's a good idea." 

.....

Later that night they had both curled up on the couch to marathon movies and just relax since they both deserved a break from the last two and a half months of actual hell. 

Dan had fallen asleep almost remarkably fast, it was barely halfway into the first movie when he passed out.

Phil yawned as he turned off the tv. Four movies and several hours later he was very tired. It was approaching two in the morning. 

"Dan?" Phil says in an attempt to wake him up. "Dan." 

Dan reluctantly opens his eyes and looks groggily at Phil. "What?"

"Are you going to bed or are you one with the couch?" 

"I don't know." Dan yawns and rubs at his eyes. 

Phil could admit he looked cute as hell. Messy tousled hair, sleepy whiny voice, teary eyes from yawning. He looked small and adorable. 

"Well I'm going to bed." Phil says before sighing. Dan blinked at him sleepily. Sleepy Dan was just too cute and irresistible so Phil leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, managing to get the corner of his mouth as well. "Goodnight Dan." Phil gives him a soft smile before getting up and going to his room. 

Dan's mind took a second to comprehend what had just happened. When he realized that Phil kissed him his heart started beating faster.

Granted it wasn't a lip kiss- but it was still a kiss, and it was enough to leave Dan's mind and heart spinning. Dan couldn't help the ridiculous smile that forced itself onto his face even if he tried. 

.....

"How'd you sleep?" Dan jumped a little when he heard Phil's voice, he didn't expect him to be awake yet. 

"Good, I'm glad to have my bed back." Dan says before fully entering the kitchen, seeing Phil sat at the table. "What about you?"

"Eh..."

Dan then noticed that Phil looked very tired. "You couldn't sleep..."

"Yeah, it's no big deal." Phil tries shoving it off but Dan knew better. 

"You had another nightmare didn't you?" Dan asks with a heavy sigh. 

Phil sighs as well before looking down at the table, he nods sheepishly. 

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've woken me up!" Dan really didn't mean to yell. 

"I don't want to feel any weaker than I already do. If I have a little nightmare about 'that' then I can handle it-"

"Phil I don't think you're weak- we've been over this- but if you need someone you've got me. I don't care what time it is or where we are, if you need me I'm there." 

"Maybe it was just because you weren't right beside me." Phil says, trying to lighten the mood. 

Dan gives him a half-smile and rolls his eyes, "Yeah sure." 

Not long later Dan was busy at the stove while Phil slept away on the couch, he had immediately fallen asleep after sitting down and Dan had to physically pry the coffee mug from his hands so he wouldn't spill it all over himself. 

Dan just let him sleep while he made breakfast for them both. 

Phil's sleep didn't last long though because halfway through making breakfast he trudged sleepily into the kitchen. 

"Whatcha makin'?" Phil asks, he had managed to stand as close to Dan as humanly possible, he even wrapped his unbroken arm around his waist. 

Dan's body tensed beneath the touch, he was even holding his breath because he didn't want Phil to know how much one little touch could affect him. 

"Pancakes, just for you." Dan replies and he could almost laugh at how domestic this whole situation was. 

"Yum!" Phil replies, eyeing the food like he was about to attack. 

Dan just laughs fondly. 

.....

After breakfast they had cleaned up the kitchen together.

"Can you put the powdered sugar away?" Dan asks as he sets the milk back in the fridge. 

"Sure..." Phil says weirdly and Dan was about to question it until he had closed the fridge door and Phil was standing behind it ready to attack. He had powdered sugar flung at him. 

"You little- it's in my hair!" Dan complains loudly while Phil giggles manically. "You know what." Dan dips his finger into the leftover pancake batter before quickly smearing it on Phil's cheek. 

Phil gasps in surprise before giving Dan an offended yet playful glare. He flings more powdered sugar at Dan before throwing the bag of it onto the counter, a puff of sugar turns the air around them white for a moment before it settles. 

Phil immediately starts laughing, "You have powdered sugar in your eyebrow." 

"Hmm, I wonder why?!" Dan wipes it away with irritation, this was kind of fun though. It was good to see Phil laughing and enjoying himself even if it was at Dan's expense. 

Dan grabs the bowl of leftover pancake batter before approaching Phil with a sadistic smile. 

"No- no no no- Dan don't- don't!" Phil shrieks when batter is flung at him, getting all over his t-shirt. 

"There. Now we're even." Dan smirks. 

"You're evil Dan! Pure evil!" Phil shoves Dan playfully. 

"We've made such a mess." 

"It's your fault." 

"My fault? How is it my fault- you flung sugar at me first!" Dan defends himself. 

"It slipped!" 

"Mhmm. Yeah sure, the sugar 'slipped'." Dan sasses. 

Phil laughs, "But it did! I guess it just had it out for you." 

"You still have pancake batter on your face." 

"You still have powdered sugar in your hair." Phil says and Dan shakes as much sugar out of his hair as he can. 

"Ugh I'm covered in it." Dan complains. 

"I'm covered in pancake batter- it's like hardening on my clothes." Phil grimaces. 

"It'll wash out- I think." Dan hesitates and Phil huffs. "Here." Dan pulls a paper towel off of the roll before getting it damp with water. 

"I'm not four! I can do it myself-"

"I made the batter mess, might as well let me clean it up." Dan shrugs and Phil let's him get closer. 

Dan gently wipes the batter off of Phil's face, Phil's eyes were glued on his the whole time. 

Dan's breathing was shallow and his heart felt all jumpy, he knew Phil was staring at him and just that fact alone made it hard to breathe. 

Dan sets the batter soaked paper towel on the counter next to him before staring back at Phil. He feel's Phil's hands suddenly rest on his hips, Dan was immediately careful not to bump his broken arm. 

Dan reaches up and grips the back of Phil's neck. Dan could feel his throat get suddenly dry and it felt like a flock of pigeons were released in his stomach. 

"Phil." Dan whispers softly, almost pleading. Phil gives him a shy subtle nod and he immediately dives in. 

Their lips connect perfectly, the contact felt amazing and relieving, Dan immediately whimpered against Phil's mouth. He had craved this for so long. 

Their lips move together slowly, pressing and biting until they were beyond breathless. 

Dan made a noise of content when Phil's tongue connected with his, Phil's mouth tasted like syrup and coffee and Dan couldn't imagine anything being more Phil. 

They didn't pull away from each other until the kiss slowed back down and they were just pressing lazy soft pecks against each other's lips. They mutually pulled back with erratic breathing and racing hearts. 

"God, Phil." Dan sighs before leaning into him. "I've wanted to kiss you for such a long time." 

Phil softly giggles before pressing another soft peck to Dan's lips, loving the way Dan melted into his touch. "I know you have, I seem to recall that you've tried to kiss me a few times recently as well."

"You knew?!"

"It was obvious, I was just too nervous to let you do it." Phil admits. 

"I felt like you were rejecting me honestly."

"I wouldn't reject you, promise." Phil says.

"Good because I-" Dan cuts himself off, a lump forming in his throat. 

"Yes, Dan?"

"Nothing." Dan felt stupid. 

"No, what were you going to say? It's okay, just let it go." 

"I was just gonna tell you that- that I-" Dan gulps, Phil looked at him expectantly, "I love you." 

Phil smiles softly before kissing Dan, their lips lingered together before he pulled back. "I love you too you absolute idiot." 

This time Dan leaned in to kiss Phil, and it wasn't stopping anytime soon. 

.....

Now it would be great to say that Phil was instantly cured and okay, but realistically that wasn't the case. 

Dan helped Phil, who was now his official boyfriend, as much as he could. 

Phil still had bad nightmares, and he had to go to therapy for his ptsd from the incident. He was terrified to leave the house alone, he was still kind of scared when Dan went outside with him.

Phil felt a more at ease once he found out that the asshole got life in prison. He was securely locked away and Phil wouldn't have to be scared of him anymore, even if he still saw his face in nightmares. 

His physical scars from the torture would fade over time and his broken arm would heal, but he'd still have to deal with the mental trauma- but with his support system, which was Dan, he knew he could breathe and begin to feel at ease. 

It was going to be a long journey and he wouldn't ever forget what had happened to him- but he still had a future to look forward to. 

He was alive, and that was a good place to start.

**Author's Note:**

> So. Yeah. Holy shit. 
> 
> Anyway... read my other fics if you like, I have a lot of dark ones, fluffy ones, smutty ones- just a bit of everything really. 
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated!   
> Literally. Plz leave me your thoughts.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :P


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